Hey everyone,
So, I wanted to drop a line and explain why I've been MIA on the blog lately.
Let's just say, mental health doesn't take vacations. Despite some amazing moments, I found myself wrestling with personal demons, exhaustion, and to top it off, some lovely menopausal surprises. It all came crashing down on Wednesday. I'm talking ugly crying, snot everywhere – the works.
Thursday morning? I didn't want to face the world. The temptation to fake sick and hide under the covers was strong, but somehow I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled through the day. Sure, I put on a brave face during my meeting, but the moment I was alone, it was like a dam burst.
I spent nights in my hotel room, tears soaking the pillow, feeling like I was drowning in darkness. It's a scary place to be, when you can't trust your own mind with your safety.
As much as I wanted to reach out for help, it felt impossible. The words stuck in my throat, and my fingers refused to type the messages I so desperately needed to send.
To those who love me, who might be reading this, I'm sorry for shutting you out. Depression and anxiety have a way of making you feel like a burden, even to those closest to you.
So, I soldiered on. One foot in front of the other, forcing myself out of bed each morning with promises of Starbucks as motivation. And you know what? I nailed it in my meetings. Put on a show that would make Broadway proud. But the moment I was alone again, the facade crumbled.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, mental health is messy. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it's crying in a hotel room while everyone else thinks you're living your best life.
But hey, I'm still here. Still fighting. And I'm grateful for every single one of you who's stuck by me, even when I couldn't find the words to ask for help.
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